My Husband Won't read this....

So I don't have to worry about the things I say about him on here.  There are so many wonderful things to say about him.  Seriously.  But I won't be saying those today. 

As I sit here, I realize that I'm bitter and grouchy.  But what else is new?  You know how you start the day with a positive outlook, trying to smile and be sunshine and rainbows in your family's day.  And then around mid-morning you feel the crap sinking in. I mean c'mon, how hard is it to pick the towel up off the floor. Or put away the coffee creamer, especially when you were not just the last, but the only one to use it.  How much effort would it take to send a quick text or email saying how much you appreciate your stay at home slave. Oops, excuse me, stay at home domestic goddess.
Are ya feelin' me? (I could seriously go on for hours, and if you're my close friend, you can attest to that fact.)  And I also realize that the title of this blog is not "For you ungrateful slobs that I married and gave life to."  So, I digress.

Being a full time mother is a thankless job.  Those of you that get to leave the house, even if for only one day a week are so lucky.  But you probably feel differently, so I won't elaborate on how I crave my old desk and adult interaction for 8 consecutive hours.  What I will do is be thankful for my mother.  She did the same job when I was little. She cleaned, cooked, loved, punished, taught, directed, read, colored, laughed, cried and most of all, mothered.  I struggle to be thankful everyday that my husband works at a very stressful job so that I can stay home. I struggle to not be jealous of my friends that have it all together. I struggle (really struggle) to not be angry with my family for what seems like blatant disrespect for how hard it is to do this job. 

What I want to say, I would regret, because in the end, I love my family.  I know that I won't have them like this forever. I know that they are one day going to blame me for all the mistakes I made when I was just trying my best.  I know that I will want to take back every harsh correction and every angry word.  I know that I will wish that I could sit and read with them, play soccer with them, push them on the swing and lay in bed and talk about all the wonderful things in our life. I know that my clean house and laundry are minuscule in the grand scheme of things.  I know all of these things, but all of these things are sometimes necessary to be a good stay at home mom.  Sometimes I have to ignore my children so that I can get supper ready and fold the clothes.  Sometimes I have to fake it till I make it just so that I can sit in my closet and cry after everyone has gone to bed.  Sometimes I am so pulled in every direction that I want to run away.  Sometimes I panic thinking that my children will remember that I was angry, bitter, depressed and worst of all unloving.

I don't know how to fix the epidemic of the overflowing laundry or the less than award winning meals.  I don't know how to manage my time better so that my children are brilliant and well behaved and there is not a single speck of dust anywhere. I don't know how to be skinny, pretty and remember to smile and say a kind word even when I feel like saying something I dare not write on this post.  What is the answer?  What could the million dollar remedy be?

I will leave the prior question unanswered.  But I will ask you this. Are you feeling the pressure that society and undoubtedly our spouse and children put on us?  If your answer is yes (and let me help you... it is) then I challenge you to take a deep breath.  I challenge you to count to 7. I challenge you to compliment yourself on a job well done.  One day, they all will. One day they will understand that you gave up so much of yourself to be what they needed. One day, God will call you home and when you gaze upon His face, He will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Do all things to the glory of Him who saves you.


For the record, I know I've posted something similar to this in the past, but I needed to write it again.  It's my blog and I can do what I want to. :)