Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Hoss, Lil' Red, Itchy, Spicy... Lyd



I can remember my sister coming home from the hospital. Some people think that it's crazy that I can remember being three years old, but I do. I hated her from the beginning. Hate is a strong word. I should rephrase, I was very leery of her presence. And so the saga begins.


She's 25 now. And I can honestly say, she's one of my best friends. She is, without apology, a royal pain in the arse sometimes. And it's all I can do not to wring that skinny little neck of hers. Other times, she's great. It hasn't been long that I've had such rosy feelings for her. We are very different people. So different, that if we didn't share some of the same physical characteristics, I would doubt that we are truly sisters. But since I know it to be a fact, I should embrace it, right? No, not so much.

My girls changed a lot of things. When people say to a happy couple, just beginning to feel the excitement of parenthood, "your life will never be the same." It is very rare that this blissful couple truly grasps the gravity of that phrase. I know I didn't. My girls changed my relationship with my sister. And every day that relationship gets better.

Growing up with Lydia was difficult. She was a brat, a tattle-tale, a faker and a spoil sport. She made me want to pummel her, in fact I'm sure I did a few times. We went to high school together. She was a freshmen, I a senior. I drove a Bronco that had a problem keeping that back tire latch closed. At red lights I would make her get out and close it. I thought it was hilarious, she thought it was torture. We did have some good times growing up. Largely though, my parents were much easier on her than they were to me. I had to work harder for my grades. I was never as kind or as delicate as they thought her to be. She was fragile, they would say. Even my friends could see it. And of course my parents deny it even to this day. Lydia denies it too. She thought the exact opposite. She did everything they wanted her to do and they rewarded her for her good decisions. I don't think Lydia was wrong for this. But it would've made me insane to walk such a line. Now, my parents weren't awful. We as a family had our share of struggles. And children never really do understand everything that their parents are trying to do for them. But Lydia and I were as different as night and day.

The same Lydia that yelled at me the whole time I drove us anywhere (school alone was a 35 minute drive one way) was also the Lydia that joined me in stripping down to our bras once the school was out of sight. It was hot and the Bronco had no air conditioning. And to be honest, those little things made me love her more. The same Lydia that complains about how stressed she is and how tired she is, is the same Lydia that always asks how my day is going. The same Lydia that never seemed to care what I thought, is the same Lydia that gave me a ton of creative control in her wedding plans. The same Lydia that frustrates me to no end, is the same Lydia I call first for a good talk.

When I got pregnant, I called my sister and told her before I told my parents. She was there when the girls were born. She was there for Remle's first birthday and Christmas and Easter egg hunt. I'm sure she will be there for as many firsts for Daily too. She has called me practically every day since Remle's birth. Especially now that I'm a stay at home mom.
Watching her with my girls is like magic. She tires of them easily. I laugh wondering how she will ever survive motherhood. I always give her a hard time, saying I'm genuinely concerned if she can handle her own offspring. But I know that my girls could not have asked for a better aunt. The moment she enters the room, they light up. To them she is perfect in every way.



I can't wait till she has a little one of her own. So that I can spoil that baby the same way she does mine.

I laugh when I think of the day she stayed with me in the hospital after Remle was born. I had a c-section and really wanted to rest. Remle was asleep in Lydia's arms because if Lydia was there, I did not get to hold my baby. I would try to breastfeed and Lydia would be kissing the top of Remle's head. Lydia was stuck to that baby like she was the new mother. I watched her in awe, seeing a new side of my sister. I got up out of the hospital bed, made a comment about having a nap, and made my way to the bathroom. When I opened the door to leave the bathroom, there she was. She was in my hospital bed, covered up in my blankets, head on my pillows, holding my 2 day old baby girl. Both were asleep. I felt a tug, understanding that God had just given me a glimpse of what changes were in store for me. He gave me a beautiful baby and a new relationship with my sister.

There are times that being with her is heaven. And there are times when I can't think of any criminal that deserves to be in her company, she would make them suffer so. But I am so grateful that my girls have her. I am grateful that my girls will get to see how wonderful it is to be someones sister. Even when you thought that was the last thing you wanted. Even when you thought you hated her.




I love you, Lyd.