The Thing Is...

I don't write this blog for you.

I only partially write this for myself.

The title of this blog should be an indication of its purpose.

I ask my mother all the time things about when I was young.  Did I do this?  Was I this crazy?  Did you ever feel like your life was spinning out of control?  And 99.9% of the time her answer is "I don't know, Brandy, I'm sure you did/you were/I did."  She can't remember!  And why should she?  I'm 32 years old and she's had a lot going on in that time.

I want to learn from the feeling I have every time I ask these questions.  I am a little disappointed.  I want to know that my girls are on the same path as I was at this point in life.  I want to have my feelings of complete inadequacy validated.  But her mind (nor mine) is not the World Wide Web.  Where nothing goes to die.

So, I put my thoughts and my musings here.  You may think I'm ridiculous. You are probably right.  But I want to be able to go back and remember what my state of mind was during these formative years of my "Mommy" career.  And I will probably call myself a fool in the future.  I will probably be embarrassed about a post or two. I will probably forbid my children to read it until they have children of their own.  Nevertheless, I will not apologize for being my original self. I will not beg your forgiveness for my diarrhea of the mouth as one of my English teachers so eloquently stated.  I want my children to know their mother. I want the version that they love be the true version.  I do not want to be tempted by naysayers to tarnish the person that I am, flaws and all. No censorship on this page.  B

I write this for my girls. My hope is that you find a way to immortalize yourself for your children.  I do caution you however, to be true and steadfast in your work.  The beauty of the person that God made is the evolution of our mind and soul.