Isn't Toy Story a wonderful movie? How many have cried at the end of Toy Story 3 when Andy chooses to leave his toys with the little girl? It's me, the sentimental sap. There are a ton of themes to that series, but as the song suggests "You've Got a Friend in Me." Seriously, you do. Ok, maybe you don't know me and maybe if you do, I annoy you. How that could ever be the case I do not know, because I am just a constant joy to be around.
You know that friend that you've had since you were a kid? Maybe through school or church that no matter what happened in life, you always were connected. That when everything else in you life was going to Hell in a hand basket, they were the constant, they were your compass to your true North. Or that friend that you knew in High School that you liked but never really fused into true blue friends until later in life when it just seemed you couldn't go a few hours without having to tell them something. Or those friends that you can be totally honest with, that you have no qualms telling them the awful truth about something you've done, or want to do. I have these friends. I didn't always.
When I had my firstborn, Remle, we were blessed with a huge shower and tons of well wishers, but when it came to the birth and getting that projectile vomiting demon home, I didn't have many people outside of my husband and mother. 13 months later we brought our preemie, Daily, home and I was in much of the same situation. Too far away from church to ever really be involved and too scared to get in the car and go anywhere with a 1 year old and a newborn. When we had Frankie though, my experience was so different. I had so many people surrounding me, begging to help. It was wonderful!
I credit this difference to my relationship with God, my husband and my church family. No, not everyone I'm friends with goes to church with me (just 98% of them.) But after finding my church home, I realized that I could ask God for friends. It seems silly. I mean, seriously, how could a crazy, extrovert like me go for so long without friends? It's simple now that I can look back. I wasn't in the right place, I wasn't searching for the right people.
Do I love my life? Absolutely. Am I always saying that on here? Not so much. But be aware that before I type anything on here, I have vented to at least 3 of my closest friends.
If you're not sure what to look for, let me give you some pointers. Find someone that will make you laugh. Laughter truly is the best medicine. Find someone that you feel you can be truthful with. This may take a little time since it can be difficult to trust, but start small and build from there. Find someone that is your same body type. If not for any other reason so that you can borrow clothes, but also so that you can identify with that person's self consciousness. Find someone who is on the same sleep schedule as you. If you're a night owl and want to get out of the house after 9 but all of your friends are asleep, you might end up on Peopleofwalmart.com because they weren't there to send you back in your house to change clothes. And of course, find someone that is a gift from God. Whether it be at your church or someone you reconnect with. It could be that friend that you've always had, but never thought about truly embracing. Whatever you do, get them.
Because one day your whole family will be sick and you'll need a friend to run to the drugstore for you. Or you'll be in the hospital and your parents are out of town with your sick grandmother and you need someone to keep your 3 darling children. Or you'll be on the brink of killing your husband and need someone to call to tell you how bad prison food is. Or there will be a stupid movie you really want to see and need a friend to indulge you. Or you'll be in the shower and slip and fall and you'll need that friend who won't mind seeing you naked to come and help you up. There is a common theme: Need. No man is an island. You can not go through life without good compadres.
All of that being said, be a great friend. Don't let people down. Don't get upset when they put their family first. Don't be selfish with your time together. Don't expect them to agree with you on everything. And if you do anything, DO be a friend that Jesus would want to have. Pray for your friends. Because believe me, they need it, and so do you.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
My Husband Won't read this....
So I don't have to worry about the things I say about him on here. There are so many wonderful things to say about him. Seriously. But I won't be saying those today.
As I sit here, I realize that I'm bitter and grouchy. But what else is new? You know how you start the day with a positive outlook, trying to smile and be sunshine and rainbows in your family's day. And then around mid-morning you feel the crap sinking in. I mean c'mon, how hard is it to pick the towel up off the floor. Or put away the coffee creamer, especially when you were not just the last, but the only one to use it. How much effort would it take to send a quick text or email saying how much you appreciate your stay at home slave. Oops, excuse me, stay at home domestic goddess.
Are ya feelin' me? (I could seriously go on for hours, and if you're my close friend, you can attest to that fact.) And I also realize that the title of this blog is not "For you ungrateful slobs that I married and gave life to." So, I digress.
Being a full time mother is a thankless job. Those of you that get to leave the house, even if for only one day a week are so lucky. But you probably feel differently, so I won't elaborate on how I crave my old desk and adult interaction for 8 consecutive hours. What I will do is be thankful for my mother. She did the same job when I was little. She cleaned, cooked, loved, punished, taught, directed, read, colored, laughed, cried and most of all, mothered. I struggle to be thankful everyday that my husband works at a very stressful job so that I can stay home. I struggle to not be jealous of my friends that have it all together. I struggle (really struggle) to not be angry with my family for what seems like blatant disrespect for how hard it is to do this job.
What I want to say, I would regret, because in the end, I love my family. I know that I won't have them like this forever. I know that they are one day going to blame me for all the mistakes I made when I was just trying my best. I know that I will want to take back every harsh correction and every angry word. I know that I will wish that I could sit and read with them, play soccer with them, push them on the swing and lay in bed and talk about all the wonderful things in our life. I know that my clean house and laundry are minuscule in the grand scheme of things. I know all of these things, but all of these things are sometimes necessary to be a good stay at home mom. Sometimes I have to ignore my children so that I can get supper ready and fold the clothes. Sometimes I have to fake it till I make it just so that I can sit in my closet and cry after everyone has gone to bed. Sometimes I am so pulled in every direction that I want to run away. Sometimes I panic thinking that my children will remember that I was angry, bitter, depressed and worst of all unloving.
I don't know how to fix the epidemic of the overflowing laundry or the less than award winning meals. I don't know how to manage my time better so that my children are brilliant and well behaved and there is not a single speck of dust anywhere. I don't know how to be skinny, pretty and remember to smile and say a kind word even when I feel like saying something I dare not write on this post. What is the answer? What could the million dollar remedy be?
I will leave the prior question unanswered. But I will ask you this. Are you feeling the pressure that society and undoubtedly our spouse and children put on us? If your answer is yes (and let me help you... it is) then I challenge you to take a deep breath. I challenge you to count to 7. I challenge you to compliment yourself on a job well done. One day, they all will. One day they will understand that you gave up so much of yourself to be what they needed. One day, God will call you home and when you gaze upon His face, He will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Do all things to the glory of Him who saves you.
For the record, I know I've posted something similar to this in the past, but I needed to write it again. It's my blog and I can do what I want to. :)
As I sit here, I realize that I'm bitter and grouchy. But what else is new? You know how you start the day with a positive outlook, trying to smile and be sunshine and rainbows in your family's day. And then around mid-morning you feel the crap sinking in. I mean c'mon, how hard is it to pick the towel up off the floor. Or put away the coffee creamer, especially when you were not just the last, but the only one to use it. How much effort would it take to send a quick text or email saying how much you appreciate your stay at home slave. Oops, excuse me, stay at home domestic goddess.
Are ya feelin' me? (I could seriously go on for hours, and if you're my close friend, you can attest to that fact.) And I also realize that the title of this blog is not "For you ungrateful slobs that I married and gave life to." So, I digress.
Being a full time mother is a thankless job. Those of you that get to leave the house, even if for only one day a week are so lucky. But you probably feel differently, so I won't elaborate on how I crave my old desk and adult interaction for 8 consecutive hours. What I will do is be thankful for my mother. She did the same job when I was little. She cleaned, cooked, loved, punished, taught, directed, read, colored, laughed, cried and most of all, mothered. I struggle to be thankful everyday that my husband works at a very stressful job so that I can stay home. I struggle to not be jealous of my friends that have it all together. I struggle (really struggle) to not be angry with my family for what seems like blatant disrespect for how hard it is to do this job.
What I want to say, I would regret, because in the end, I love my family. I know that I won't have them like this forever. I know that they are one day going to blame me for all the mistakes I made when I was just trying my best. I know that I will want to take back every harsh correction and every angry word. I know that I will wish that I could sit and read with them, play soccer with them, push them on the swing and lay in bed and talk about all the wonderful things in our life. I know that my clean house and laundry are minuscule in the grand scheme of things. I know all of these things, but all of these things are sometimes necessary to be a good stay at home mom. Sometimes I have to ignore my children so that I can get supper ready and fold the clothes. Sometimes I have to fake it till I make it just so that I can sit in my closet and cry after everyone has gone to bed. Sometimes I am so pulled in every direction that I want to run away. Sometimes I panic thinking that my children will remember that I was angry, bitter, depressed and worst of all unloving.
I don't know how to fix the epidemic of the overflowing laundry or the less than award winning meals. I don't know how to manage my time better so that my children are brilliant and well behaved and there is not a single speck of dust anywhere. I don't know how to be skinny, pretty and remember to smile and say a kind word even when I feel like saying something I dare not write on this post. What is the answer? What could the million dollar remedy be?
I will leave the prior question unanswered. But I will ask you this. Are you feeling the pressure that society and undoubtedly our spouse and children put on us? If your answer is yes (and let me help you... it is) then I challenge you to take a deep breath. I challenge you to count to 7. I challenge you to compliment yourself on a job well done. One day, they all will. One day they will understand that you gave up so much of yourself to be what they needed. One day, God will call you home and when you gaze upon His face, He will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant."
Do all things to the glory of Him who saves you.
For the record, I know I've posted something similar to this in the past, but I needed to write it again. It's my blog and I can do what I want to. :)
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